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I am too old for this shit

Continuing the trend of trying to use technology I at which I BLOW, I'm trying to write a journal post on an iPad.

That sentence took me ten minutes.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.



you have NO IDEA how hard it is to balance an enormous cup of coffee in my still-mostly-paralyzed hand, while trying to type with the now-mostly-functional hand.

(observe my icon of uselessness. and NO. I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT HER RECENT APPEARANCES OF SILENT USELESSNESS. yes, i do.)


 I kind of forgot about you, El Jay.  Um.  Oops?  

I'm still an invalid.  GBS is still kicking my ass.  I had to have another series of IVIG (intravenous immunoglobulin)  treatments a few weeks ago.  I need to sleep constantly.  I'm still numb all over, and I kind of hate my body and various doctors and the universe.

I just got a new laptop, because the hinges broke on my old one.  Also, got a Kindle.  It is awesome and I love it.  

In the past six months, I've read, like, a hundred and thirty books.  I spend pretty much all of my time reading.  Except when I'm watching the old Granada/PBS Sherlock Holmes mysteries.  Jeremy Brett is the best Holmes EVAR.  Also, he and Watson are so very gay together.  Brett plays Holmes like a big ol' queen, and I love it.

Comic book friends, what comics should I look at?  It's been almost two years since I read anything.  Marvel suggestions?  Indies?  Graphic novels?  And I'd like to start reading a Batman books, too.  I've been re-interested in Batman thanks to playing Lego Batman.  Which is awesome.

Oh.  That reminds me.  I've been playing video games a lot,  too.  (So, you know, pretty much any activity that involves sitting at home and being restful and quiet.)   Any gaming suggestions?  I like survival horror (Bioshock, Dead Space, Ye Olde Resident Evil) and silly games like the Lego ones.  And I've kind of been growing to like shooter games, too.  I don't even know.  

And I swear to Jesus, if you say I should play Farm Wars or Mafiaville or whatever other FaceSpace game is popular right now, I will reach through the internets and ho-slap you.

One year ago today

Today is my one year diseaseversary!

One year ago today, I was called into the restaurant because none of my family's employees showed up for work. I went in, even though I was feeling a little bit sick and weird. I had a mild tingle in my hands and feet. By the afternoon, the tingle was much worse and had moved up my arms. I had a doctor's appointment at 4:45 to have a wart removed. I told the PA that I wasn't feeling well and that I had a weird tingle in my arms and feet. He decided that, because I saw a rheumatologist for the "arthritis" (more on that some other time) in my foot, it was probably related and I should make an appointment with my rheumatologist. He removed the wart and wished me good luck with my arthritis.

By that evening, the tingle turned into pins-and-needles and a heavy pain settled over me, like I was being crushed by an elephant. I was lying on the couch with the TV on, trying not to let anyone know that I was crying, when my husband noticed and asked what was wrong. I started sobbing and said that it hurt so much and wouldn't stop. We went to the ER for the first of seven visits there, trying to make someone, anyone, pay attention to the fact that there was something wrong with me. They sent me home with some Vicodin and directions to call my rheumatologist in the morning. The Vicodin didn't do anything for the pain, but at least it put me to sleep for a few hours.

And that was the end of my first day with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, an immunological, neurological disease that has absolutely nothing to do with rheumatology. It's been one year of hell -- of agonizing pain, of four months in the hospital, of no financial income and no creative output, of a life suspended. I'm not yet cured of the effects of the disease, but I'm better than I was before, and that's something. I've at least started thinking about resuming my life.

In honor of my diseaseversary, please tell me any ways you, your life or your situation have changed in the past year. I'm slowly working my way through your journals, but in the mean time, I'd love to know what you feel have been significant changes.

Funniest. Ever.

This is srsly the funniest story in the history of EVER.


I die every time I look at that.
I just weighed myself and I have OFFICIALLY gained forty pounds while taking Lyrica. FORTY. This medication is BULLSHIT. I'd rather be in pain than gain weight like this. I'm enormous. I had to buy all new clothes. My boobs are so big I can hardly move around them. My tummy is big and jiggly. My thighs are...well, you get the picture. I'm fat! Thanks, Lyrica! Thanks for making me fat!


I've been putting off updating because there's so much to update about that it's overwhelming. The problem with writing a big entry is that my hands are still numb and one of the meds I'm on makes my eyes blurry and gives me double-vision, so I make a metric ton of typos. I've never been away from LiveJournal for this long, though, and I feel like I'm totally sequestered from the world. I'm just going to start posting again and include bits and pieces of what's happened over the pasrf yeaer with each entry.

I should start off by telling you that the disease I have is called Guillain-Barre Syndrome. And it's not even a disease, really. It's called a syndrome because modern medicine doesn't know enough about it to call it a disease. It's very rare and strike people so differently that it's hard for doctors to gather muuch information on it (plus, it can't help that there are neurologists, like the one who diagnosed me, who are so appathetic about the diagnoses and treatment of it that I can't immagine they'd contribute any data). So, there's not much to go on as far as treatments. My physical therapist wants to write a paper on it with me. We used a device called a "TENS unit", which applied light electrical shocks to some of the nerves around my spine, in effect canceling out the crippling nerve pain I was feeling. There hasn't been a paper written on this treatment since the 70's, so it's an important thing to do, I think. I hope it would help other people suffering the same symptoms.

This is what I've been doing for the past eleven months. It's been rough, man. And I've been pretty miserable and depressed. I'm sorry I've avoided some of you -- have promised to call and then didn't. I've been low. But I think it's getting a little better and I think reaching out to the outside world and making contact again will help. I've missed you guys

There's some kind of birdpocalypse going on outside. I've never heard so much angry tweeting.

Quick update

Back in the hospital.  I don't know when I'll be discharged. Doctor said 1-2 weeks.  I'm hoping for sooner than that.  My roommate this time is a total horror show.

Thank you all for your support.  I love all of you THIS MUCH.

Back from the dead

I've been sick and it's a really long story. I just got out of the hospital today. I'm partially paralyzed from the waist down and from my elbows to my hands. Do not freak, though. It's a temporary paralysis. With physical therapy, I should make a full recovery in a few months.

So, that's where I've been. I'll tell y'all the whole story when it doesn't take 878573975 years for me to type everything.

It's fucking awesome to be home.


Does anyone know what the first track on this website is? I'm pretty sure it's Ludacris, but I can't find it.